A change in time.

I can't say for sure if it was just as tragic the day the music died, but because of the speed of communication these days it seems as though you can't go anywhere without a tribute to Mr. Jackson.
to be completely honest, I did enjoy his music, but I was never a really big fan of him, and I can never say I was or I would be a liar. I understand the grieving of a person who has influenced many though his music, but I can't help but wonder how many of the tributes made out there are a ploy to gain attention, to gain recognition of their own work.
which brings me to another point.
Michael Jackson died, yes, but millions die everyday. where's their tribute? where's their medley? its unfair. Mothers, Father, Sisters, Brothers, Daughters, and Sons they influence our lives don't they? Police, Firemen, Doctors, Bystanders, they all save lives.
Could the world, for just once, not overreact to death of a famous person.
no one wants to be forgotten, i get that. but i don't think they want their death to be some kind of historical event, because it's an everyday thing. think about it this way, if there were to be a textbook with all the dates of famous people's death and a little obituary of them, it'd be larger than a dictionary.

we should move on, death is suppose to happen anyways.

I don't know what's been in the air lately

I can't help but think I'm changing to be one of those health nuts. Not to say that it would've happen at one point or another, but I think for lack of a better excuse it's because of my surroundings.

I'm also more of a bitter person towards people, especially couples. Most likely it's because I envy everything they have. I've always wanted to have that feeling of knowing someone besides my family and friends love/like me. I hope the summer brings this kind of feeling. I don't have any life experiences in anything so why not start with love.

Like a scene from a movie that's a love letter to music.

at the stage in Disneyland's tomorrowland and he's performing, I could've sworn he was looking at me while he's up there. I couldn't breath, I was lost in the power and energy of the music and his voice.
I loved it when he said my name. I never wanted to forget it. His british accent going through my brain. I needed to process every single bit of my night. But it sadly ended, and I never wanted it to.

now I pray that I can somehow see him again. which is a big unlikely.

I'm certain now.

I've spiraled down to paranoia-island, population me. I can't believe I haven't noticed this sooner and was able to stop it. But then again, I don't want to loose two friends. Fuck.

why did she have to two-time Texas AND chris. i feel sorry for those poor bastards. especially for chris, he doesn't stand a chance between texas. and, i mean, i used to like chris. i know he's made it perfectly clear, i'm a sister to him. that doesn't mean i can't try and help can it?

and now, all around me, every where i go, i'm the third fucking wheel. things just aren't like they used to be. i doubt that i have even one friend. oh sure, they sayi'm their friend, but am i?

i want to die for that reason (among many other reasons i can talk of later).

i wonder if people will cry if i died, If they would blame themselves for my suicide. knowing them they probably wouldn't. knowing all the faults that i have, i wouldn't.