Tuesday, December 16, 2008

And they wonder why I hate life so much

So I'm pretty sure I'm visible right? Apparently not. I'm outside waiting in the cold for my ride. He's all the way in god knows where. I wish I could just drive so I wouldn't have to put myself at risk for diseases or even becoming a frozen yeti. This gives me the perfect escape for running away actually, but let's face it I'm broke and have no where to go. I guess I could just keep on running but I'm not that kind of person to runaway from life situations. If only they knew how I feel right now. Lonely, cold, depressed, and overall wishing for two things. Either my early death or for some miracle.

Sunday, December 14, 2008


there's something bout' this time of year that makes me melancholy. It could be the weather or the constant darkness that I see from day to day. But all I know is that I've lost all motivation. It's day's like these that I would just like to sleep in my bed for as long as possible or even worse, never waking up. 

which brings me to my next topic of discussion.

I'm not one to think of suicide or death (although most people assume otherwise.) I want to die in the prime of my life, not old and forgotten. I want to die like I lived my life, straight and fast. That probably doesn't make sense to someone reading this but I'll explain don't worry. I've always felt as if life were just one blur. I guess, to put it in an analogy I've been living my life as if it were in the fast lane on the highway. I've come to the point where I don't remember what happened yesterday and tomorrow will be almost identical. I don't even dream anymore. every night is just a black space.

I guess it's the weather making me feel this way, and creating this vibe that is unwanted. But it'll pass.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

This post comes to you in pieces

Part 1: I lied the jonas brothers strike again

It's not my fault they got nominated for a grammy. 
Alright, I'm not one to be all piss ass about how they don't deserve one because JB isn't really music but they really don't deserve one. They aren't a "new artist." They've had 3 fugging albums already out and have been around for 2-3 years now. I don't see how that's being considered a new artist. Even if they were to be a mainstream artist. They've been mainstream for at least two years.
It pisses me off.

Part 2:Movie Magic

I've gotten two new movies Wall-E and The Dark Night. Yes I know two very different movies. Personally Wall-E is my favorite of all time. It's Brilliant. I can't get enough of it. Even when I'm sleeping its replaying over and over in my head. 
Don't get me started on the dark knight. It's one of the few action movies I own.  surprising enough the other action movies I own are also comic book hero movies. What can I say? I'm a fangirl for only four things in the world : 1)Marvel/DC comics. 2)Apple(Mac). 3)Nintendo. 4)Anime.

Part 3:The Therapist agrees I don't need him.

I went to see my first therapist on thursday, he agreed with me on not needing one. I knew it all along but no I have to oblige to those of higher power. At least he said I was stable and articulate. Nobody says that to me.

Part 4: Lets make babies.

I find it soooo amazing that in Bio we're doing a lab on predictability with genes and making babies.(not literally of course, the media would have a field day if we did) I have to choose who I'd want as a companion though, which is horrible. I don't fancy anyone, let alone want to see what our future children would look like. For some reason I want to choose some random person that no one knows about so it wouldn't matter, but I know, no matter what people will care and be all up in my business about it. 
Part 5: I miss the youtube.

I remember 05' youtube. Those were the days. now there's widescreen, top friends, and partnerships? don't get me wrong I like the widescreen, and I understand that partnerships are useful for people that can use it as a part-time job. But seriously, all the changes they've made, and youtube live, I see them as pointless. 

I think that's about it.