Sunday, August 26, 2007

Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder.

Most people believe that people with this disorder are just lazy. I would know, because I do have this disorder. Which brings you to why I'm updating at 1:30 in the morning. It's sunday and I'll be in church in 8 hours. probably listening to a homily that I'm far from connecting to.

This post really has no more meaning than the last. It's been about twelve hours since my last post. so really this is more of a continuation of my day. 

The farmer's market was closed today, so we went to Home Depot, and then after to the cemetery to visit my grandfather and aunt.

I never really knew my grandfather, he died in 2000 and was born in 1914, so for the 7 years I had known him it was very awkward, because most of the time I saw him he was in bed or in a wheelchair. Kinda like a vegetable, but I knew he was more.

Suddenly, after another seven years go by, I learn more about who he was. And it makes me respect him for all he's done. I'm not sure if I remember correctly but for the most part my mother's side of the family wasn't as wealthy as my father's side. My mother told me and my brother before that her father said to her, I may not be able to give you nice things but I promise you a good education (or something along the lines of that). That's why my mother particularly wants me to succeed in school, and after hearing that I finally understood why.  I remember my mother telling me one time that my grandfather would walk this one street down to La Brea(I can't recall the first street and I'm not positive of the second but it was one long downhill uphill walk) just so he wouldn't feel so useless when he retired.I have forgotten to add my grandfather was a veteran. I never really knew anything about that though.

My aunt traveled. (I'm not positive but I think she was a flight steward) and she had died in a plane crash on August 19, 1980. So I never got to know my aunt. But long ago, I remembered my mom said I had eyes like hers. and she was called atte baby.  When I look at pictures of her and my mother at such a young age, I wonder what it would be like if she were still alive, and if she would be married and have children.

And I know everything happens for a reason but what if...

To drift away from the lives of my relatives I'll go on with my day.

I continued to read Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier. To be honest, it lacks my interest. I mean okay, romance, suspense, I never really see where it is. I'm usually fine with reading books but summer reading just doesn't appeal to me, well at least the ones that the school gives. I've read many other enjoyable books this summer like Masquerade by Melissa De La Cruz. Now that caught my attention, and it may just be the whole vampire thing but it was better than other books I've read. 

I really should be getting to bed right now but I'm not in the mood.

but I'll try, and if not, I'll just be updating some sort of blog or fan fiction...

till tomorrow my dear friend, till tomorrow. 

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Two cavities.

I went to the dentist today, I have two cavities. I actually am pretty lucky considering all the things that could go wrong, like getting a thin enamel. That sucks very much. But anyways that's besides the real point of this blog post.

There are two construction workers in my bathroom installing a bathtub with jets and putting travertine on the floor and wall. I never even imagined material things like these in my possession, but I guess they're all nice. I'd trade them all in if I could find real everlasting happiness but they'll bring joy to me for a time. 

school starts soon, I kinda fear it. mostly because I'm in a school where there's about 300+ amount of people, and I couldn't feel any more lonely. And my closest friends, are in different schools.

I have to cut this short because I'm going to home depot and the farmers market with my mom.

till next time, It's been a pleasure.

Friday, August 24, 2007

5th blog and still boring...

okay so I really  have nothing better to do than to have 5 blogs and actually update all 5 occasionally. 
Greatest journal- my serious journal and beliefs (I'm not showing any of those posts to anyone),
Live journal- my dull updates on life and what happens, 
buzznet- events and ramblings, often they are maximum of 5 sentences.
personal Website- more ramblings ( I ramble off quite a bit), probably some seriousness hidden in there.
Finally this blog. how nice this one is.
I hope this is somehow serious, and not just another rambled blog.

Really, I hope it's worth more than the relationship I know I'll never have.