I've spiraled down to paranoia-island, population me. I can't believe I haven't noticed this sooner and was able to stop it. But then again, I don't want to loose two friends. Fuck.
why did she have to two-time Texas AND chris. i feel sorry for those poor bastards. especially for chris, he doesn't stand a chance between texas. and, i mean, i used to like chris. i know he's made it perfectly clear, i'm a sister to him. that doesn't mean i can't try and help can it?
and now, all around me, every where i go, i'm the third fucking wheel. things just aren't like they used to be. i doubt that i have even one friend. oh sure, they sayi'm their friend, but am i?
i want to die for that reason (among many other reasons i can talk of later).
i wonder if people will cry if i died, If they would blame themselves for my suicide. knowing them they probably wouldn't. knowing all the faults that i have, i wouldn't.