Infatuation, the death of me.

Why must I always be infatuated with a person, it's insane, it'll probably make me a madman(or woman in this case). I don't know what it is but I fall for one guy end up liking his brother... I know, so mature, you're just dying to say "oh Audrey, you're so shallow, you're so immature. when will you ever grow up?" well news flash, I am in no hurry to grow up to be some phony. 

When I look around at somebody obviously lying their way through life, it makes me feel depressed as hell. I mean they aren't happy and they just want to do their own goddamn thing. It just depresses me so much

But I'm starting to sound a bit like Holden Caufield to be honest. I better stop while I still can.

Anyways, with this infatuation, I'm "infatuated" with this boy, but he "loves" another girl. And now I feel as if his brother, which is 20, is more of a guy I would like. hm, I think this whole ordeal of me being isolated from boys is getting to my head and I can make up a fake life in my head. I must admit, I can be pretty phony.