again with my complete circle.

He's to amazing for me to think about. I've tried so hard to think of someone more tangible, but he's just the guy I've always looked for.

His new album is amazing, totally blew me in a different path. less malicious, more reflective. It was definitely growth from the last, and the weird thing is, that since their last album my music taste has shifted to more of classic rock more than the plain old vaudeville, and indie rock, and when I buy this album, expecting something different yet the same (if that makes sense),I was pleasantly surprised that it's more "folk" rock and more of the Beatles as an influence.

All the better to love it in my opinion.

So back to that subject of my music tastes changing.

I actually am more interested in classic rock (as I've said before). I'm more interested in the Beatles, and the Who(just to name a few). I mean, I still love indie and all, but I tend to be more inspired by ,for example, the Beatles, more than, again for example, Emery.

Alright, well I'm off to save the world.

yet again.

Audrey

It's funny, I've gone a complete circle.

I'm back to my old whereabouts and I'm back to loving up GRR. To be honest, I never really stopped, but side tracked none the less. he's still always on my mind. I can't wait till we meet for real. The only person standing between us is his girlfriend, KC. oh well, he already said he'd marry me in the end. ahahaha.

I say we were made for each other. just like the Jack's Mannequin song. 

Infatuation, the death of me.

Why must I always be infatuated with a person, it's insane, it'll probably make me a madman(or woman in this case). I don't know what it is but I fall for one guy end up liking his brother... I know, so mature, you're just dying to say "oh Audrey, you're so shallow, you're so immature. when will you ever grow up?" well news flash, I am in no hurry to grow up to be some phony. 

When I look around at somebody obviously lying their way through life, it makes me feel depressed as hell. I mean they aren't happy and they just want to do their own goddamn thing. It just depresses me so much

But I'm starting to sound a bit like Holden Caufield to be honest. I better stop while I still can.

Anyways, with this infatuation, I'm "infatuated" with this boy, but he "loves" another girl. And now I feel as if his brother, which is 20, is more of a guy I would like. hm, I think this whole ordeal of me being isolated from boys is getting to my head and I can make up a fake life in my head. I must admit, I can be pretty phony.

A Bit of Everything.

So I was one of the lucky girls at the Gibson Amphitheater when the Jonas Brothers came there. and I was even luckier to be one of the girls that won the raffle. That was one crazy day considering there were 1000+ girls there, and some hardcore boys there too. I'm psyched about it.

In other news I found out today that I have a chance of having type 1 diabetes. My great aunt has it apparently so I'm all woah about it because my mom told me it was hereditary. yeah. something else I have to worry about.

anyways, back to the Jonas Brothers.

It's weird, I've never had my hands sweat and shake, or had my stomach churn, knowing they were there. Who knows what my emotions are telling me. 

Another boy I lost...

this was in november-december of 2006.

His name was John and that's as much as I remember of his name. I knew him for about a week before I blocked him. His screen name was faraway2880 but I'm not sure exactly if the number is right. 

He was sweet, but probably a bit too forward. I remember him telling me that all these positive things happening to him since the first time he talked to me. It was nice at first talking to him, and then a bit irritating. he would talk to me at 1am and be the first one to talk to me whenever I signed on, and then there was this poem, which he wrote a few days after we first talked and to my knowing it may have been about me but it might not. I remember reading it and it said he would run away to me and he didn't care about our age difference, and I remember him talking about running away from his 'craphole' and coming to me. I was flattered but kinda scared he might turn into a stalker. 

I ended talking to him by ignoring him. I knew I hurt his feelings by not talking to him, and, to be honest, in the end I think I think about him more than he will ever think of me again.  He deleted all his accounts under that screenname and now I can't apologize for what I had done. I bet we could've been really good friends. If anything, I would like to have another conversation with him (kinda like jack).

I wonder what I would say.

There was someone I once knew, well sorta knew.

his name was, I think Zaine, yes now I remember, his name was Zaine but I called him Jack, and his last name was Fox. I first talked to him on this forum called simpleplanrox, although I doubt he was really ever a fan of them. I felt special when I first talked to him, keeping in mind I was about 12 or 13 , I remember how we would actually have fights over who had more xs before we had to say goodbye, and how I had a seal that I called Jack, in honor of him. I think he was the first person I actually loved, even though, he was homosexual. we grew apart up to the point where I wouldn't actually talk to him because he was interested into talking to someone else. 

I kinda wonder what kind of person I would be if I still talked to him, or what we would actually talk about.

I kinda miss him.

I just remembered a conversation I had with him, he was telling me something about a back problem and he was getting surgery for it. 

and then there was this time he asked about my religion, He asked if he was pushing me away by asking my religion, and I said it didn't but after thinking about it, I think it did. 

But anyways, I'd like to talk to him, just to see if would be like talking to an old friend or if it would be an awkward conversation like ex lovers. I don't know what I'd want actually. 

It'd kinda suck if he forgot who I was, or even worse, if he hated me now. 

I guess I'll never really know.

Rebbeca

by far, the only book I understood this entire summer. The emotion, the envy, all for a dead woman. I really did enjoy it. (even though the beginning is slow as heck.) Anyways, I really am looking forward to reading Romeo and Juliet again. Such a classic, I can never get sick of it. Although out of Shakespeare's works my personal favorite is A Midsummer Nights Dream for my obvious reasons. Oberon, King of the fairies, and puck, good ol' puck. my favorite characters.  Shakespeare, by far (in my book) the best literary genius to ever walk among human kind (so far). 

anyways tomorrow, I must go and run a 1.5 mile, or something of that sort, just for P.E. oh how I dread tomorrow. Also, I have a spanish test, but I'm not that worried, I'm actually doing muy bien, besides my random talkings. well goodnight!